January 20, 2021

Categories: The bed

Do you remember the arrows guys put in their quiver symbolizing the women they slept with? Or the notches on the bed post? Well forget about them. All those clichés will not survive. I’m at EUR (an area of Rome) and I’ve been invited for dinner at the house of this business man. Inevitably the feud between Rome North and Rome South stars with the former trying to justify themselves for living in the poshest and snobbiest area of Rome. The arrival of the sea salad seems to have a calming effect. While waiting for the next course, between a crostino and a glass of wine which tastes foul, we tackle the next subject: sex.

And here she comes: Clara, a beautiful 50 something, long, blonde hair with a figure that puts many 30 something to shame. She’s single she doesn’t need a man; she has a ‘parking lot’. What’s a parking lot? A parking lot is a series of dudes ready to satisfy the lady’s sexual needs. You don’t need a lot of them, just three or four, they can be used in rotation. The parking lot doesn’t have an easy access; it must be well selected by choosing the best specimen. After the initial phase it can last forever.

Specifically, Clara’s parking lot, which is over ten years old, is made up by

An ex footballer, the rough kind that makes you do cartwheels in bed;

A businessman that lives in Austria, great for weekends abroad;

A barman (29 years old) with a buffed body;

A well-endowed manager, and that is his only quality, but that’s enough;

Needless to say we leave our spaghetti alle vongole in their plates and we become engrossed with her story. It works like that: “Men must be educated – she says while sucking her vongola-flavoured finger – you go out with a new one, you sleep with him, the day after you must not respond to any message nor return any call. you call him again after a month, you sleep with him and Bob’s your uncle”.

I, the romantic one, ask her if she doesn’t feel the need to share her time with a meaningful one. She answers with a definite no, for that she has her friends and family. Instead, after many relationships, she has understood that all she needs is sex. The evening ends up with her catchphrase: “if you want a bit of sausage you don’t need to take home the entire pig”

E… ovviamente la canzone è: “Nessuno può giudicare!”